Author: Nikki Betrifling

Who doesn’t love a SUPERHERO?? I have fond memories of my childhood being a little girl idolizing and pretending to be Wonder Woman. I did the spin, had my lasso of truth, and in the privacy and imagined world of my room saved the day in my Wonder Woman Underoos.  I even have a couple of Wonder Woman symbols today.

I was reflecting on this when I decided to find a current day superhero for a fun boost to my adult life and to draw some inspiration – girl, was I in for a shock.

According to the article Women In Superhero Media: “Sheros” Done Wrong by Judith Joissim of the 34,476 comic book characters in Marvel and DC, only 26.7% are female. A small percentage by any means and even so, I was surprised when I looked at what that number that percentage is… 9,205. What??

I was asked (by a wise and caring being) how many women super heroes could I name and none came to mind! Then, embarrassed and thinking, “smuh – kid stuff, not important!”, I shoved all of this away for years until today.

Today, for both nostalgia and female empowerment, I intended to find another female superhero. Instead, I started reading about Wonder Woman, spinning further and further into her creation and the impact good and bad, she had on forming my self-image.

Obviously I am not a huge fan or follower of Marvel and DC comics but I am a woman and instead of being taught to love myself and be my own hero, I took what they told me and accepted it as the only choice. Wonder Woman and Supergirl were my options. That is what was offered and programmed through TV shows, toys, and yes, Underoos.

Wonder Woman has some redeemable qualities and back story. She is formed of clay by her mother, Hippolyta and given life from Greek gods. She is Amazonian and the only one not to be created by man. She lives free of men on Paradise Island and is taught warrior skills and life lessons of love and leadership by her Amazon family. Her mission is peace and diplomacy. She is gifted many powers by the gods including strength, sisterhood, a hunter’s heart, wisdom, and beauty.

Yup, she is gifted the power of beauty. So beauty is defined as Wonder Woman….

The rest of her original back story is fascinating and worth the time to read. At one point she gives up her powers to live in a “man’s world” and marry her love, Steve Trevor. Her back story has many edits over the years and one might be tempted to argue that it was just the times that her story was as it was. But in 2011, her story changed again, being the love-child of Hippolyta and Zeus, no longer the only Amazon not created by man. Of course, in the patriarchy, there has to be a man.

William Moulton Marston created in Wonder Woman, a cookie cutter image of a patriarchal imagined grand super woman to be eagerly consumed by young girls looking for their hero.  Marston was a psychologist and to the onlookers was supportive of women’s rights and devoted father and husband actually led a double life. He had a mistress with whom he fathered other children, and according to New Yorker writer Jill Lepore who pieced together the complicated life of the scholar, writer and inventor in 2014 with her book, The Secret History of Wonder Woman, saw himself as a self-styled feminist and student of the budding field of psychology at Harvard University. He formed a thesis that women are mentally stronger than men, but argued that they are also happiest being submissive. He personally and professionally encouraged women to stand up to the patriarchy, but may have suppressed his wife’s career as a scholar, while taking credit for her groundbreaking research.  His wife was often the sole provider financially and was the one who told him to make the superhero a woman.

Wonder Woman, who was gifted beauty, had the look that has been copied and spread across most all of the female superheroes, each wearing a tight costume accentuating a small waist that is not at all conducive to movement and tall boots over long legs often with a heel. Her beauty included long, wavy, perfect hair, large breasts and no visible muscle tone. Eyes were often blue, which let’s face it, automatically rules out many. In looking at image after image online this is what I see.

So why is a woman with visible muscles an oddity? Men superheroes are full of muscles. Women superheroes still look delicate for the most part. We have been so programmed for so long, we have no idea what a strong woman looks like. If you move and take care of your body and use it, you will develop muscles. If you value your health and want a long and pain-free life, this should be the goal.

I am still going to search for a fictional superhero as now my curiosity in this has been fueled. However, I realized, instead, that while superheroes are fun and we definitely need more representation as real, strong women, what we really need is to find the true super WOMAN in each of us from birth.

I am so grateful to the internet where I can find real kick-ass, strong females, of all ages, living their lives. And while I will look to them for inspiration, I must remind myself of these things:

Hero – Shero – HERo – HER

• HER –  is a woman
• HER –  creates life
• HER –  feeds and conditions my body at any age to be visibly strong
• HER – is flawed and heroic
• HER –   loves myself and therefore, others
• HER –  fights the patriarchy
• HER –  makes my own choices

Who doesn’t love a good treasure-hunt? There is no greater feeling than wearing an outfit that I feel confident and comfortable in, helping me put my best self forward. It is icing on top when I am complimented and I am in a thrift-store find…WIN-WIN!!  The value inevitably goes up even further. This is the bonus of thrifting and while fun, is only one reason to explore this practical way of shopping.

With 92 million tons of garments ending up in landfills (Earth.org) it is so important to start to do something to bring about a positive change. Thrifting is a great way to do your small part and have fun doing it. Keep the mindset that your action makes a direct impact for today and the future.

I enjoy physically shopping in one of the many thrift stores in my area. If I am looking for glassware, a good book, or home décor I will stop by any Goodwill. I have found not only replacement items for everyday things for my kitchen especially, but also have been lucky finding specific items. I wanted a large ceramic bowl to fit in my bathroom sink and armed with a tape measure found an ivory bowl that not only fits perfectly but looks nice sitting on the counter when not in use. The going rate for a hard cover book these days is around 25-30 dollars but you can pay just a few dollars at your local Goodwill. Also check out used online book stores like thriftbooks.com and bookscouter.com. Of course, there is no  better way to spend a couple of hours than flipping through books, touching pages and breathing them in at a used book store.

When it comes to garments the sky is the limit – it is just knowing where to go for the best chance in finding what you seek. Because jeans wear well and sometimes it is a comfortable worn look you want, this is the easiest score in my opinion. I find that most physical thrift stores have plenty of jeans in stock and all you need is the time to try them on. Other than jeans, when shopping in a physical thrift store, I tend to let the treasure find me. With specifics in mind, I usually start online. There is a plethora of online stores that offer consignment items like SWAP and Vinted. Another great online thrift store is Thred-Up. They have a wide range of clothes and accessories for everyone in the family. I have been a member of Thred-Up for over 10 years now. Their customer service is very good. I have returned items and asked about the condition of items and have been satisfied with resolutions. They rank their items from new with tags to flawed gems and in my opinion, these rankings are mostly accurate. They show more than one picture of each item. They have over 40,000 items in their Work Dress category alone so chances are you will find items to love. It is very easy to send your items in as well and the website is easy to understand and navigate.  Of course, there are high-end and luxury used items available as well through sites like The Real Real and Luxury Garage Sale.

Do not forget places like Etsy and E-bay when hunting for a specific item. Need some furniture, handbags, or electronics? There are online places to thrift all of these.

Save some money, have some fun, save the planet, waste less, and find a treasure. Try thrifting! You too will love getting a compliment on an item you saved and re-found for yourself!

The thought of growing out my natural hair color scares me. For the past few years I have gradually made changes to my diet and lifestyle in an effort to become more in tune with nature and to rid my body of harmful chemicals lurking everywhere these days.

I have been coloring my hair for the past 30 years! When I was in my early 20’s it was a regular thing to grab a bottle of wine and a box of hair color and spend a Saturday night with my roommate gossiping, laughing, and changing up our look. I often joked about finding any gray hairs and plucked them as they came one or two at a time.

Why is this acceptable? As someone growing out their silver-laced hair I am amazed at the comments people view or assume is acceptable.

∞ You look old.  ∞ You should go back to coloring your hair. ∞ You look like a grandma! ∞ Why aren’t you still coloring your hair? ∞ But your hair (colored) was so pretty!

And then I see this sign outside of a beauty shop as if this is the only standard of beauty. Is it because it can be done easily with no effort with the exception of the beautician? And as long as you have a little money you too can be “beautiful?” Is it because we are programmed from a very young age of “acceptable” beauty standards?

Girl, Roots are for Trees!

Would it be just as acceptable for a sign to read:

Girl, Rolls are for the Dinner Table!

Because I have worked really hard, changed my entire lifestyle and habits to go from an overweight, unhappy, unhealthy 211 lbs. to a very healthy, plant-based, 100 lbs. less, lifestyle and believe me, THIS takes WORK!

NO!!  Of course, this is also UNACCEPTABLE! We should be supporting each other and find beauty and strength in every woman. If you are a woman, you are already amazing. And, as women, we need to praise each other in our natural beauty.