{"id":67,"date":"2020-11-09T22:02:00","date_gmt":"2020-11-09T22:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/voiceofnikki.com\/?p=67"},"modified":"2020-11-09T22:02:00","modified_gmt":"2020-11-09T22:02:00","slug":"my-journey-to-submission","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/voiceofnikki.imebay.com\/index.php\/2020\/11\/09\/my-journey-to-submission\/","title":{"rendered":"My Journey to Submission"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Part I<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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She knew what was going to happen. She was after all going to meet him in a hotel room, wasn\u2019t she? As she sat in the car in the parking lot of the hotel she began to doubt her decision to meet him. What was she doing? They had only known each other for a few days. Technically, she was married and had promised fidelity. Fear and doubt gave way to anger and frustration. Where was he? Had he stood her up? Already nervous and now angry she texted one last time \u2013  \u201cWhere are U?\u201d The phone finally rang. A gentle, low voice asked, \u201cWhat are you doing baby?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

All the fear and apprehension that had built up now spewed forth with angry insults and quick, sharp replies. \u201cI am here; Where are you?\u201d \u201cWhy are you late?\u201d and \u201cWhat took so long?\u201d \u201cNO, I will NOT move the car!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Calm, soothing tones was all she heard in response to her rants. \u201cI am on my way,\u201d he gently replied. She had to admit his reasoning to her questions and accusations were just as they rode up to the 2nd floor. Was it the jolt of the moving elevator or her nervousness that made her stomach feel as if she were on a roller coaster? She could barely make eye contact. Better to feign annoyance that to show any emotion and have that soft, vulnerable, underbelly exposed to a virtual stranger and to set up for heartache once again. She took a deep breath as he inserted the key into the door lock. No going back now.\u00a0\"\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Part II<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

She felt disoriented as she stepped into the room. Was it fancy hotel decor? No – roses. Deep red, on the table in the sitting area, one dozen red roses, a bottle of wine chilling in an ice bucket and a card with her name written on it. Yes, she noticed, her name was spelled correctly. He remembered it was K and not C. Most people miss that and just use the more common way of spelling. Her breath was taken momentarily by the sight and immediately she was racked with guilt for all the angry words she had spoken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As she struggled to apologize it occurred to her that he was just as nervous as she was. He quickly and genuinely apologized. He was late because he had wanted the night to be special, memorable – it was after all the weekend before Valentine’s Day. He sat her down, fixed her glass and pulled up some music on his computer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The glass of wine felt especially cold as her body was warming from deep within, partially from embarrassment at her outburst, and partially because of her growing excitement. She wanted so badly for this night to be different, for him to be different. Different as in wonderful and new and well..different. She was so tired of the same….the same men. The ones that don’t really care. The one’s that don’t care to step up as men<\/em>. Don’t care to make an effort, don’t care to surprise, don’t care to excite, don’t care to take the lead in any decision-making, or just don’t care enough at all about anything<\/em>. But as much as she wanted it to be so, and even dared to hope, she could not stop the cynicism creeping into her head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even after the sincere apology doubt flooded back into her. Some music, she thought. Probably some typical “love-making” playlist men think work on women. When she heard Prince begin to play she could not help but laugh…PRINCE??? That was her favorite artist. They had discussed a week prior and they had laughed about the 80’s and being a die-hard Prince fan. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He excused himself to shower and she was left to let it all soak in. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Part I She knew what was going to happen. She was after all going to meet him in a hotel room, wasn\u2019t she? As she sat in the car in the parking lot of the hotel she began to doubt her decision to meet him. What was she doing? They had only known each other […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/voiceofnikki.imebay.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/voiceofnikki.imebay.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/voiceofnikki.imebay.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/voiceofnikki.imebay.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/voiceofnikki.imebay.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=67"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/voiceofnikki.imebay.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/voiceofnikki.imebay.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=67"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/voiceofnikki.imebay.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=67"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/voiceofnikki.imebay.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=67"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}